RIGHT LOVE AT THE WRONG TIME

I watched her in a teary eye while walking the aisle, she's very beautiful wearing her dream wedding dress. I can't help but also cry knowing her dream wedding was fulfilled, together with her favorite song "Beautiful in White". Gustong-gusto nya kasi ang mga kanta ng westlife.

I then imagine our future together. Ilang anak yung gusto namin, na kulay green yung magiging bahay namin because she's too obsess with color green. Nag-iisip pa nga kami kung ano yung magiging pangalan ng mga anak namin. She WAS my everything way back then.

Because here I am now, standing in front the crowd and in front of her husband-to-be, performing the wedding mass.

Call me Kevin, way back 2015 I met this girl nung na assign ako sa parish nila as a deacon for six months, she's a parish scholar at that time. A fourth year college nursing student in a famous University somewhere in Cebu.

Her chinita eyes na nawawala tuwing ngumingiti sya, her natural red lips and her natural waivy brown hair na sumasabay sa mga matatamis nyang ngiti.

Hell I care na Seminarian pala ako that time, all i know is that I'm attracted to her so much. Napatanong na lang ako sa sarili ko, kung bakit ngayon lang sya dumating. She's very simple, doesn't apply any make-up, very kind and very approachable, the reason kung bakit hindi ako nagdalawang isip na ligawan sya.

We became official, and I was her first boyfriend. Napaka understanding nya, inintindi nya yung secret relationship namin kasi hindi naman pwedeng may makaalam na iba. If I could just shout to the world that she's my girlfriend, ay ginawa ko na. She knows na kahit kami lang nakakaalam na were in a relationship ay sobrang proud ko pa rin sa kanya.

Okay yung flow ng relationship namin. Until one night she requested to talk to me. Her aura was different sa tuwing magkikita kami, pain and sorrow is in her eyes that time. Kinabahan ako sa pwede nyang sabihin. I have a hint pero benalewala ko yun. I want to hear it from her mouth talaga.

"Ga, pag dumating yung time na kailangan mo nang mamili sa pagitan ko o yang pangarap mong magiging priest, will you promised that you will choose your dream over me .?"

Parang pasan ko ang mundo sa mga panahon na yun sa sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam ko. She even manage to smile her sweetest smile na nakakagaan ng pakiramdam, even the tears falling down from her cheeks. Ang sakit. Sobrang sakit.
I hold both of her hands, na umiiyak na rin. NO. I can't lose her.

"I'm not letting you go, Ga. Kaya kong talikuran lahat kahit yung pangarap ko para lang sayo."

Umiling sya habang umiiyak.

"We both know from the start that this isn't right Ga. You choose to serve him and I can't dwell with him. My love and your love was never enough compared to his love."

She hugged me tightly while were both crying. Everything was blurry because of my tears that won't stop falling.

"Let us free ourselves from each other." She said it almost a whisper while still hugging me. And for the last time I hugged her tightly as I could, because I know after this everything will changed. Everything will never be the same again. And I know the moment I will let her go, she will never came back again to my arms again. I will never kissed her sweet lips again. No more kisses, back hugs, surprises and exchanging of I love you's.

Year 2015, she graduated and officially became a licensed nurse. God knows how proud I am for her achievement. I attend her graduation day we talk like a normal friends. The same year I was ordained as a priest. She was there also attending my ordination, she even told me how proud she is for me.

And just this year 2017, we saw each other again. She is still the girl I love BEFORE. Because now, I am happily in a relationship with GOD. Nakakatawang isipin na ako mismo yung kinuha nyang priest for her dream wedding. I'm so proud of her.

Ibang lalaki man ang nagtupad sa minsan na nang pangarap naming wedding. Ibang lalaki man ang nagbigay sa dream house nyang color green ay sobrang saya ko parin. She even invited me to blessed their house.

Ang dami kong WHAT IF'S, but God never leave me.

To Karen,
Ga,(hahaha). Allow me to call our call sign this time. If ever mabasa mo 'to, I would like you to know na hindi ako nag confess para ipaalam sa lahat ang storya natin, but i want them to know that everything happens for a reason. Bitaw Ga, thank you sa lahat. Thank you kasi pinalaya mo ako at hinayaang tuparin ang pangarap ko noon pa man. Hindi man tayo itinadhana, at least nakilala kita. I never regret knowing you because you teaches a lot to me. To be strong. Dapat ako pa rin yung magiging priest na magbibinyag sa anak nyo ni Pareng Jaycee ha.? Hahaha

"Don't be afraid feel the pain, because if you do that you will never find your true love."

Sana ma post to USF, thank you in advance.!

Fr. ******
University of San Carlos-Cebu